Monday, November 27, 2006

I've Been 'Rejected', puiii!

I've got a looOoog email from the Neighbour. I was contemplating to share this or not but I reckoned maybe I should. Let me post some excerption from his long poetic mail here.

...why I am writing this note to you is to say that I respect and value your friendship and opinions but as a friend.

Your company and friendship is great and to be kept. My feelings for there to be more with you though are not.

You may think that this email is of no real importance to us and that I have confused what this has been. Ultimately it is me wanting to be clear and honest with you about where I sit in my feelings.

Does he know what is he talking about for f*ck's sake? Jeez... I think he is having a complex. Let me explain to you what had happened briefly. The Neighbour, obviously as stated in his nick, is my neighbour. He left some notes(plural) at my door last year while I was still attached to my then boyfriend, Mr Personality-less. In respect to my then relationship, I did not response to the Neighbour.

Spring this year, I sent him a text to acknowledge his notes. I was single and I thought it wouldn't harm to have another friend (okay, call it time-filler if you like) to hang out with. Hence, we went on a couple of dates, and it wasn't too bad. Not long after, we had stopped contacting each other for some reasons. Until a few months back, he started asking me out again but I was then too absorbed in my all-over-the-place dates and parties.

We started going again a couple of weeks ago, spent a lot of time together. I had even went as far as to introduced him into my social circle, unintentionally, and he blended in just well, way too well. I'll also have to admit that we're more than just neighbour and friends, but trust me, I was and still am in no state for commitment.

The highlight was this - he took me out for dinner on the night before I left, we were hanging out at his place after returning from dinner. We were talking, watching TV, hanging out and I came out with this statement

"I'm gonna miss you when I'm away"

Now look, I said this to everyone, all my friends, and I meant it. But that doesn't mean I want anything from him, e.g. relationship or asking him to f*cking marry me! If you ask me, I can tell you that yes, I did enjoy his company. We got along very well, I felt really comfortable and he never failed to feed me intelectually. But that doesn't mean I was after a relationship with him, for f*ck's sake.

Subsequent to THE statement I made, he started to have The Talk with me, trying to explain himself. I'm not gonna elaborate what we had talked about but in short, he was telling me that he's not ready for commitment. Proud to say, I responded and reacted in a pretty cool way to what he said. That had made him realized that I am in fact quite liberated (that's the word he used). Also, I personally felt that he was a little surprise that I wasn't what he had expected me to be. To my own surprise, I had a sense of relieve after that, as I at least knew what he was thinking and made myself clear in return.

On the following day, before I left home, he called me to talk to me. When I was at the airport, he texted me a couple of times and called me to chat. I did wonder for a moment, what did he want? And last night, I got this so called 'rejection' email, when I wasn't even demanding any f*cking thing from him. Who does he think he is?

Me and my support team had of course discussed this over emails and phonecalls. I personally think that he knew that I can walk out of him anytime and before I do that, he chose to send me that email first to lie to himself that he's the one who 'ditched' me. Jo reckoned that he's a player who opted the honest-style and he'd rather be honest with me in order to not lose me as a friend as well as a flirt. Pat reckoned that he thinks that I'm so in love with him that I want him to marry me. Eleana reckoned that I'm the first Asian girl he encountered that is not all over him and is actually making him feel low.

In the first place, it was him who threw himself all over me when we saw each other again this time round. I've to say that I do appreciate what he's done for me and my friends for the past couple of weeks, even after that senseless email. He was indeed very nice to me. I never had problem with men thinking that I want to marry them, he is definitely the first. Having said that, I presume it wasn't me who had done something outrageous for me to deserve such email.

It's definitely his problem here. Dude, I guess it's time for you to wake up and smell the fresh air. I like you a lot but I do not want anything more than what we were having before. In case you don't know this, I was freaking out when you were too nice to me, I thought you were the commitment-maniac!

Alright, enough said. With the help of my ever-so-supportive girlies, I've replied to his email. It sounded friendly, cool and sweet with a hint of bitchiness, if you get what I mean. If what I predicted comes true, he should be digging a hole to hide his quite-attractive face. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him, but I did feel a little offended by that mail, trust me, there were heaps more other contents in the mail, mostly about himself, his feelings, his history, his other woman (who is not his woman).

We got along extraordinarily well afterall. I really would love to still spend time with him whenever possible, only if he can get over his embarrassment *chuckle* Call me living in my own world or whatever, it's all about personal choices. I chose to believe he's gonna be embarrassed.

Can't wait till he replies.


angela said...

normal ppl still write like that nowadays?!!! (referring to Neighbour's mail...)

My not-so-classy reply:
In love with you I am not. In your dreams you continue to wank lah. Tiu.

Lucky Lazy Lynn said...

Angela, exactly! I think he is writing to me in the retro style. My god... He's truly unbelievable.