Tuesday, August 25, 2009

one night only, Bronson

Four more sleeps and we'll be in Christchurch. Very exciting but I've 101 things to do before I go. My place is in a big mess since I've been working everyday, all I wanna do at the end of the day is have a good meal, watch some bad TV and hit the sack. Had two days off last week because I was sick like a dog. I was feeling rather run-down prior to that. Of course, I had been working everyday with no day-off for more than two weeks, pffftt! Anyway, lots of herbal tea and two visits to my homoeopath put me back in shape.

Got a message from Bronson on Tuesday. He was in town for just one night so the very sick me with husky voice caught up with this very good, old friend for dinner and drinks, then more drinks, and more drinks... He looked very well, in fact, he looked younger than six years ago, how is that possible? Don't ask me! He hasn't revealed his secret. I was really excited to see him. We used to hang out in KL back in those days, erm... about 10 years back? We were young, fearless and green. We went to places, we met people and we kicked arse. Those years were mad, I don't think I can ever feel the same way today regardless of how much fun I have. Not in a bad way though, we just experience things differently as we mature.

Before getting Bronson from his hotel, I was a little worried that we would have nothing to talk about. Man... we couldn't stop talking from the moment he got in the car. We picked it up from exactly where we've left it. It's really warming to see friends like that. Don't you just wish we've more of these friends in life? I'm lucky to have many, and I love effortless conversation with good friends. Sasha joined us after dinner, we went to a couple of bars after. Sasha ended up not remembering how she got home. It was such great evening - spontaneous, great company and heaps of sake, vodka, cognac + cocktails! Thinking about Tuesday night puts a big smile on my face.

He promised he'll be back for Spring Carnival. Just can't wait for that!

I'm so awake now after dinner. Sometimes Bikram yoga really screws up my time. I finish at 9-ish, dinner at 10-ish after shower and by time I clean up it'll be almost midnight. I'll be so awake and I'll curse when the alarm rings the following day, damn! Perhaps I should wind down now and prepare for bed. Looking forward to sexy, windy and wet weather tomorrow, :)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

my daughter has grown so much!

I miss my little cheeky!

headache is annoying me right now!

I was on an alcohol-free detox last week, and it lasted for five-and-a-half days. It was by far the most successful and longest hiatus I've had since god knows how long ago! Besides being alcohol-free, I was also eating pretty healthily, with maximum amount of home-cooking. Cycling and yoga are resumed (weather permitting). With all these effort, you'll think I'm a healthier and fitter person? Hell no! I don't feel well today. I was pretty much okay today until I got this massive headache after lunch, followed by sore throat and body ache. I thought I had a temperature too. Sigh... I really can't afford to fall sick. Got some takeaway congee after work and headed straight home. Ate, had a hot shower, gargled with Listerine, made myself herbal tea and planning to get 12-hour sleep. I hope I'll be better tomorrow morning or I'll call in sick although that's the last thing I wanna do.

I'm probably just run-down from work. I've been working everyday and I don't plan to get any day-off until my Christchurch holiday. I need the money so I really appreciate my boss to give me all these hours that I need. Unfortunately, I didn't perform very well on Sunday and today, aarrrgghh!!! I hope that wouldn't affect my roster next week because I desperately need them! I've Thursday, Friday and Saturday to redeem myself so please...

Anyway, to reward myself for being such a good girl last week, I made myself some kick-arse prawn+bacon risoni for dinner on Friday night, and popped open one of my favourite white wines that most of my friends don't enjoy. It's an acquired taste and I would rather have it by myself if no one appreciates it. Saturday night I got kidnapped by Mike Monkey to the new Lagerfeld Beer Garden. Beautiful venue but the crowd was crap, oh well, what can I expect from a Crown outlet? Anyway, one bar after another and we ended up at 1806 again, a very plastered me was having sandwiches and cocktails at 4am at the bar, that was "very lady-like"!

So my life of getting sloshed three times a week has gone. It is now working like a dog and drink myself silly just once a week. I'm trying to eliminate that one time too, I'll keep trying...

Friday, August 07, 2009

tribute to Joey Khor

Tell me the new layout is not lovely. Tell me it is not me. All these happened over night, thanks to Joey! Man... this is just amazing! I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone that I've got my Diploma in Graphic Design but I've got a bunch of friends who are great designers though. Oh well, at least I gain something from college days *giggle*

Anyways, I'm very pleased with myself today. Twenty-two days to Christchurch. I cycled to work after a two-week hiatus. I rode yesterday too but riding to South Yarra is actually easier compared to Carlton although the latter is much nearer to me. It was uphill after uphill today. And the strong wind wasn't helping at all! I was riding against the wind so it definitely slow me down and the dust was annoying. Most importantly, Pinko and LL made it home safely after struggling very hard to keep Pinko straight and not getting blown away.

I've also gotten back to Bikram Yoga after a one year break. It was also my first class after I had my fracture on my spine. Instructor said I was pretty good for one who had stopped for a year but I could feel the pain on that particular disk that had caused me pain in the past ten months. It only hurts when I'm doing certain positions though. It was very disappointing, sigh... So people, listen to me. Love your spine, love yourself, there's nothing more important than having a healthy body, especially your spine. My condition is irreversible, I'm just hoping with more practise and exercises, I'll build stronger muscle on my back to support my spine and I'll eventually get better. I'm really upset about my back.

Alrighty, it's getting late, gotta go catch up on my beauty sleep so I don't feel like crap at work. I wanna go yoga again tomorrow but I'm not particularly motivated. I'll tell you if I make it there. Sweet dreams my dears!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

best friends, expectations and honesty

Twenty-three days before Christchurch. I've finally decided to take this holiday and go enjoy myself in the snow. So the intensive pre-skiing cardio training just started today, which I haven't done much, bwahahaha... except that I got myself a 90-minute massage. Honestly, I think I deserved it. Who works thirteen days consecutively? I do. Enough said. So for those who don't understand and make comments like "thought you said you're broke, and you've money to go for a massage?", you may just assumed I lied.

As I grow older, I find it harder to have people who understand me. Or shall I say, as I grow older, I realized people who seemed to know me actually don't know me as well as I would love them to? "Best friend", a label that I've stopped naming my friends since my late teens, came to mind. What is best friend? What are their tasks, and what do they need to do/not do to fit into the category?

When I was in kindergarten, my best friend was the one who shared with me her biscuits and played with me during breaks. In primary school, my best friend was the one who spoke with me over the phone for hours and kept my secrets. In high school, my best friend was the one who went to places with me before/after school, the person who shared all secrets with me and be my vault. In college, my best friend was the person who shared the same interest as me and enjoyed similar lifestyle with me. So how many best friends have I had in my life? A handful but at the end, I've decided this labeling game is just meaningless. If you ask me now, I say everyone can be my best friend, but with the condition of no expectations.

Watching all these evolutions of interpersonal relationships around me made me realized, EXPECTATION is a real killer in many relationships. I've seen friendships falling out because of expectation issues. Annie expects Bambi to behave like Camy but Bambi is acting like Dolly so Annie bitches about Bambi in front of Elsa and Bambi is jealous and accuses Elsa of snatching her BEST FRIEND, Annie. Happens all the time on your right, left, front and back. You know what I'm talking about. Wouldn't life be easier if we don't expect so much from others. Of course, I'm not the kinda great person you read about who gives unconditionally and expect nothing in return, but I'm learning and trying to influence people around me to expect less from family, friends and lover. Easy to say, hard to achieve I know. Look at me, I've failed 101 times in my past relationships and fought 1001 times with family members, expectation was the main poison. Friends wise, I'm doing pretty alright, or at least I would like to think that I am.

Back to the best friend story. I've friends who swear to each other that they are "best friends". They were very close, like spent a lot of time together, stayed under the same roof, traveled together, shared same interests, etc. Let's call them Fiona and Gina. What I see of these two is that they are the artificial best friends. They share good times together, travel, party, go to places, experience the good things in life, living up to each others' expectations but the missing ingredient in this so called best-friend-relationship is honesty. Fiona doesn't know much about Gina's personality, and I'm not sure how much Gina knows about Fiona. And when you ask Fiona, she says they don't discuss about things like that. Later, I found out that Gina lied to Fiona about things that me and ten other people are certain of.

Now my question is - Can you be best friends without honesty?

Gosh... my mind is so scattered and I am rambling. It's been a while since I wrote and I've been having all these thoughts about best friends, honesty and expectations. That's the problem when I don't write them down straight away and waited this long to come up with a structure-less entry instead. So, can we be best friends with me pretending to be someone else in front of you and lie occasionally so I look like I'm a better person to you?

Anyway, big thank you to Joey who is going to redesign my page. I was being very annoying and kinda forced him to say "yes" to my request. It'll be very exciting to see the new design. That should give me a lot of motivation to keep writing.

very exciting

People, Joey is doing me a huge favour by redesigning my layout!!!

People, watch this space!