Gave up cooking my Chicken Linguini, went out to have Spicy Prawn and Chilli Beef takeaway from Dainty instead. I still can't believe how much I'm hooked on to this Szechuan peppercorn, perhaps that's just me - getting hooked on something just so easily, just so quickly, and before I even know it myself, I just snap it, faster than I thought I am capable of.
Regardless of how much I don't want to be in a relationship, the term 'relationship' is just so invincible, in any sense. There are more complex relationships other than the MWR - men-women-relationship. There are times when you start to ponder... what is the status?
Hold on a second! Firstly, what do I want? Vaguely I know I want my cake and eat it; in actuallity, I do not know what I want, but I know what I don't want. I don't want to be tied down, yet I don't want to let go of something that I think could be good for me. I want the best of both world, but I don't know how. There's too much uncertainty, it's freaking me out.
Haven't I said that I want to have all the fun and freedom till my 27th birthday?
I have a problem trusting, I've just realized. I never thought I've that problem until this evening, I have to accept the fact that I'm a loser who can't trust. Was it innate? Or is this what I've got from the post-Health Advisor-syndrome? Is that an alarm for disaster when everything is going so unbelievably well, so well that you thought you've just gotten a free ride to eternal happiness?
I'm freaking myself out, and freaking people around me out. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten and shitted at the same place.