Thursday, December 16, 2010

I'm too old for chewies

If a guy buys you a vodka cranberry lime and an older man buys you shots of Grey Goose, what can young boys offer while trying to chat you up? My answer is chewing gum!

One night, two early 20s boys at two different venues (don't even ask how, why, where and please don't laugh in my face) chatted me up. And they both offered me chewies. That lead me to blowing my own breathe into my cupped palms to check if I smelled bad. I did a couple of times and NO, I did not smell bad. So why offered me those damn chewies? Since when it is acceptable to pick a girl up with chewies? Perhaps not in my era, as much as I hate to admit. I accepted the chewies from the both of them, and put them in my mouth (note: I do not chew gum unless I'm at rave parties). I either didn't want to say no, or I didn't wanna be old.

The latter has been texting me and yes, I gave him my number. What happened prior to giving him my number need not be mentioned. So Button has been asking me out, and I'm feeling so blardy embarrassed! Never have I felt this way in my life because I never had to deal with 21-year-olds. If you know me, I always have a thing for wrinkles + dimples. What was bothering me is that he doesn't know my age hence I cannot hang out with this Button, not even just as friends. Because I fear the embarrassment of letting him know that I'm not as young as he thought/wished I was.

It got me thinking... Will I ever come to an age where I lie about my age? I've always preached that age is just a number game, there shall not be lies. But as people around me are getting younger and I am only getting older, what number am I? Just to be clear, I did not lie about my age to Button, I just did not deny whatever he assumed, bad enough I know. I never understood why people lie about their age until today. I've yet found words to explain. Anyway, I've decided to be truthful with the number, which means I have to go missing from the young boys. What happened to my wrinkly + dimpled men? Where are they when I want them?

Curry was teasing me that it's a joke that they thought I was about their age. I cannot agree more. That is also one of the many problems with young boys, they make BAD judgment. Inexperienced and they offer you chewies! Enough said, please get me a Grey Goose on the rocks already!

Friday, November 12, 2010

what's left in you without service?

In life, it is extremely hard to totally avoid making mistakes. I believe, however, it is not what wrong you’ve done, but it is how you handle your mistakes, in this case, other people’s mistakes.

Last week, Mimi and I explored the eateries at Commercial Road in Prahran, namely Mandala and Gaijin. It was either they were really unprofessional, or luck wasn’t with us on both nights.

First, it was Mandala. There was a hair in our curry. It was thick, short and curly. You know what we associate that kinda hair with, don’t ya? Gross! So we called for the waitress, told her about it, she sent her supervisor, she said she’ll make us another one. We said it’s okay, we don’t feel like eating anymore. Everything was fine. Then I took a photo of that hair sticking out of the meat. The tanned-skin-size 18-manager, gave me a dirty look from across the counter. Then they came over to take away our plates in the rudest possible way you could imagine, with faces black like squid ink. Duh!!! If you served food with hair in food to your customer, you expect your customer to snap a photo of it as souvenir. After all, we couldn’t eat the food, getting a photo as souvenir wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?!

The following night, we ventured to Gaijin on the same stretch for their all-you-can-eat sushi/sashimi dinner. Whether the food was good or was it value for money aside, they tried to kill me. In one of their rolls, there was a super sharp plastic sticking out from it. Oh yes, it was in their soft shell crab maki. So I examined it with my finger, making sure that it’s something hazardous. I called for the waitress, and I told her what happened. She glanced over to the maki and told me that was soft shell crab. This time, I gave her my dirtiest look and shafted the plate to her face and ask her to touch it. She then took away the rolls, without a word of sorry, without any explanation and off she just went! What the hell, seriously? Couldn’t you just apologize?
If I ate this, I would've been taken to the hospital, seriously!!!

Unbelievable! I cannot believe these people. You’re in the service industry, service is all you could offer. All I asked for was a simple apology. Honestly, if it was me, I would’ve made something up like “we’re very sorry, we’ve got some new staff in the kitchen, they must’ve made a mistake”. If you’re not smart enough to come up with an excuse, just keep apologizing, for God’s sake!

My take on Mandala and Gaijin is that they are dirty and the staff are either rude or dumb, or both! It’s not important anymore whether the food was yummy because I’m definitely not stepping foot in there again. And you know what? I had diarrhoea after Mandala and Mimi had the same thing after Gaijin, coincident much?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm supposed to be a tad stronger now

What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Really? Seriously?

How do you explain my recurring gastro? That hit me hard 3.5 weeks ago, and hit me even harder yesterday. Holy crap... I was literally puking my guts out all day. Anything that went down my throat came straight back out via the same path within 2 minutes. My temperature was going up and down like a swing and the room was spinning around me. I felt freaking pathetic and apparently, I looked very pathetic too! No doubt about that.

So I left work early to go home. But really, I was too sick to even drive yet I was wayyy too tight to cab home and of course, to cab back to work the following day. So I clenched my teeth, and off I drove home. After a quick shower and checked my temperature, I was in bed for the next 15 hours. I had a bit of fever but it didn't really bother me, all I wanted was for me to stop throwing up and feeling sick. Mind you, my electric blanket was on full blast till the early hours. I woke up this morning feeling light-headed (probably because I hadn't had food/water in the last 37 hours) and had a headache (had to be from severe dehydration!). I made myself some plain congee and went to work after.

I missed having someone last night. My mum, a sibling, a boyfriend, a housemate, a visitor, a whatever. I miss my family from time to time but at times like this is when I "physically" missed them. I guess that's my price to pay for living by myself, besides the ridiculous rent. At the end of the day, regardless of how dizzy I was feeling, I still drove myself home. Whether I like it or not, I still have to come home from work and clean up the mess in the kitchen from the morning before. And I had to cook myself food which I've hardly touched because I've zero appetite.

Sucks to be sick! I hope I'll never get sick again, never ever please... Alright, a cough and a sneeze here and there are fine!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

just another three days

I seriously don't wanna go to work tomorrow. Work has been a huge mess in the last eight weeks. I've lost all motivation and found myself not much of a purpose being there. Reporting to people who don't know what they are doing is just frustrating.

Good news is that I've gotten a new job and I've resigned from this current sh1thole. Three more working days and I'm done. I'm so done!!! To be fair, the bosses are really nice people, as well as other managers. Unfortunately, the person that I've to report to is a walking doll who doesn't do jack sh1t besides making sure that she gets to her hair and massage appointments on time. You get what I mean, don't you?

Anyway, I'm really excited about new job. Not exactly what I wanna do yet but I'm another step closer. I'm so grateful to have thoughtful people around me who never stopped helping me in my career, namely Kimchi and Coldie. In fact, Kimchi hooked me up with last job and this upcoming job. I owe her a big kimchi meal I guess. And Coldie was helping me in many different ways too, as well as giving me really good reference.

Speaking of Coldie. I've been hearing a lot of things about her. People back-stabbing her; how she's a real bitch in the industry, etc. They are probably true, but Coldie has never been mean to me. She's probably been using me too but hey, this is the real world and we're not in that "circle" for fun. So yes, Coldie has my loyalty. She has done the right thing for me, and she has my loyalty. I am not saying that she is a wonderful person with ethic and moral but I am saying she has never done me wrong, so I am not to dislike her. In some way, Coldie has taken me to where I am today in the shortest time and I appreciate that.

Almost half past two in the morning and my eyes are as wide as they can be. Apparently it is raining outside. My kinda weather but right now, I don't feel romantic or sexy at all. All I could feel is resentment at having to work tomorrow. Sigh... three more days, I can do it right? Right? Right! Aaarrgghhh!!!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I like the way you hate me.

Once upon a time, a boy and a girl fell in love. Madly, happily in love. They were so happy, everything was beautiful in their world. It was surreal. They saw sunshine in gloomy days. They found zest in yucky food. They giggled to crap movies. I guess we all feel this way when you fall in love, life turns into fairytale and you take
happily ever after for granted.

However, like many many other real life story, happily ever after almost never come true. We fall out of love. We cheat. We lie. We found love again... in other places. Then get yourself ready for the hardest part - being dissed.

Every line I said doesn't sound right to you anymore. My voice put your ears in pain. I am a negative person. I am a meanie. I am sarcastic. I am shallow. I have bad taste. I am... Really? Seriously? I am poisonous. My words are poisonous, and so are yours! What happened to love is what you've got left after you've fallen out of love?? There's no love, no forgiveness or acceptance for us here. No pity either.

I know, I know, when you're in love, he's cute and adorable even when he farts. And when you've fallen out of love, the way he chews his steak shits you to the core. So here we are, trying to do all we could to be the better person, trying to make friends but you know what, every word from me was wrong. Everything that I had ever suggested was negative. I am the bad person now.

These hurt more than the breakup. And when this happen, we know we've made the right decision, because this person is not good enough for us. Time for you to get back to the game, the playground is waiting for you.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I am aunty one more time!

Our bundle has arrived. Everyone at home is overjoyed. I'm so excited to be aunty one more time. At the same time, I'm feeling a little left out, because I'm not able to be home with them. It is no doubt my choice to live abroad, I know. Yet at occasions as such, I just wish I'm home.

Am I missing out? Am I? I love my life here, and I'm not just talking about having fun with mates, wining and dining and all. I mean, living a life where I work for what I get to enjoy. Having to ponder over what to have for dinner instead of going home to dinner already prepared. Having to make myself clean and wash although my body is crying for rest. I feel real. I like feeling under pressure to do better and faster. I like to know that I need to make more in order for me to spend even more. I'm gratified to see that I could actually do it, although I really should be at a better position now, making more moolah to go on more holidays and buy more diamonds, handbags, shoes and essentially, a place called home!

Anyway, it was one of those days where you've mixed emotion. Happy was an understatement. Ecstatic + excited + homesick. That's what it is.

All at the same time, I'm feeling scared. I'm scared that my family will slowly forget about me. I'm worried that they'll love me less and less as time goes by. I panicked when the thought of my Rice Angel will grow up to not including me in her life. I don't want to be an outsider, because I am part of them, I am in it and I want to be in it.

I miss home. I wanna go home, just for a bit though, because I am not done with Melbourne. As selfish as I can be, I do want the best of both world.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I'll curse you till I get tired, bitch!

My maid deserves a cheating husband that gives her warts and all kind of STD you can name in the world! Aaarrgghh!!!

She was with us for two years, we've been nothing but wonderful to her. Treated her like part of our family. My mum often bought her clothes, took her to our family outings and always forgiving for whatever mistakes she had done. But God has proven to us again that being nice to others do not mean that you'll be treated the same.

Last month, she went back to Indonesia for holiday. We bought her the return air tickets, my mum gave her gifts for her family and lent her a mobile phone with a roaming sim card. She was meant to be back a few days ago but she rang and said that her passport was taken away by their custom officer, hence she missed her flight. She said she was gonna come back and she needed money to buy a new air ticket. So my mum TT her a few hundred Ringgit right away.

Then that fucking ungrateful bitch went missing! She wasn't contactable for a few days until today, my mum rang again and guess what? Her sister picked up the call and told us that she's married three fucking days ago. Pffft! Sometimes I wonder, is my mum treating the maids too well, that they end up taking her for granted? I don't know but I am sure karma is so coming to bite the slut on her back, she better wear another layer of pants!

making my way back

First, I've cleaned the cobweb as suggested by Mrs P. Then, I'm putting my fingers to exercise. Other than working, cooking and entertaining my visitors from overseas that never, AND I MEAN NEVER, stopped coming to Melbourne, I haven't been doing much in the past four and a half months that I've gone virtually missing. Of course, I am active on Facebook and Twitter (please blame it on Twitter actually). I haven't even read my friends' blogs, none of them.

Dancing in the summer rain on New Year Day was just a couple of weeks ago, wasn't it? Ops... summer rain has long gone, hello to winter breeze instead.

A lot has changed in these months. Two friends are mummy now. Diana's little bundle is so adorable I'm so gonna kidnap her home one day while Di isn't watching. Sasha is popping next month if everything goes according to schedule. And good news today, which the psychic in me already knew, someone is 10 weeks pregnant. Congratulations, you know who you are. Hurry up, get over the puking then start booking yourself a photographer to take some semi-nude photos! Also, a very good mate is engaged, I'm so happy for her, wish came true. It's really heart-warming to know that your friends are truly happy and contented with where they are right now.

I have good news too. I got promoted but hold on, I am still underpay. You can call it Title Inflation - you get a great title, but shit pay. I do have my reasons of staying in the company besides it is a great learning opportunity and I'm considerably happy. I need to learn as much as possible in the shortest time frame. Oh well, I've no money to start my own business so I guess the best is to climb the career ladder at the moment.

I'm getting my regular two days a week rest now, no more working six days a week or my old seventeen consecutive days kinda crazy thing. Thank god tomorrow I've no work. I kinda like to split my off days as I find it more productive compared to two days in a row. I wouldn't keep thinking I've tomorrow to get things done so today I'll just do jack shit and when tomorrow comes, I regret not doing anything yesterday. Besides, isn't it great to work for two days and have one day off, then another three days and you tell yourself "Yay! No work tomorrow!" But because I'm running the show for the moment, I get work calls even on my day-off, or sometimes in the morning on my very precious sleep-in days. Honestly, I'm so not used to this but I guess I've no choice at the moment. Hope things would be better at work soon.

I've been having weird dreams of late. Twice with myself getting a Caesarean; of a tower collapsing; of strange people that I've never met before, doing strange things in strange places. And of my Dad. They're probably the best dreams. Oh, did I tell you my Dad saved my life last month? I was making soup in the evening, I had a long and tiring day. And I went to bed totally forgotten about the soup. At some point I was dreaming of my Dad and because I dreamt of him, I was slightly woken up and was tossing my body in bed when I smelled something was burning. In a very blurry state, I couldn't recognize whether that smell came from the kitchen or my dream. It took me probably a few minutes to remember about the soup, so I got up and went to the kitchen and of course, the fire was on. I turn it off and went back to sleep. The following morning when I checked, everything in the pot was burnt to ashes, EVERY FREAKING THING including the chicken carcass! I wouldn't have woken up for that 2 seconds if I didn't dream of Him, or if He came into my dreams an hour later, that would've set the fire alarm off.

I believe that He's still watching over me. He gives me strength when I'm weak. He gives me courage when I'm in doubt. And He will not stop loving.

Sweet dreams people. Let's see where my dreams take me to tonight, xoxo

Friday, January 08, 2010

got milk? say NO!

I've rashes, dermatitis allergies Olga (my homoepath) said this afternoon. How I started going natural, believing in naturopathy and homoepathy happened about ten years ago. I was introduced to this so-called doctor by a friend when I was suffering from this chronic cough for more than a month. He eased my pain within 24 hours. Then he performed his magic again with completely curing my eczema - which I had since I was a baby - from the root. In the last 10 years I was eczema-free. For those who have no allergies-related skin condition, you will have no idea how painful that could get. So, like adopting a new religion, I've abandoned the old steroid creams, antibiotics, painkillers, anti-histamines, cold and flu tablets, cough syrups, and all sorts of drugs/chemicals we believe would only suppress our illness and not treating from its root.

Last Saturday, rashes came to wish me happy new year, damn it! I look absolutely disgusting right now, because I couldn't stop myself from scratching the rashes WHEN I'M SLEEPING! Look, I've been very disciplined while I'm awake, by using diluted apple cider vinegar to stop the itch and aloe vera gel to soothe the skin. In these high thirty degrees day, yours truly is too embarrassed to wear anything sleeveless in fear of being seen as the woman with deadly skin disease. This is double depression for me.

Now I HAVE to eat much more healthily. It's true, these two weeks I've been eating rubbish! I've been so drained from all these Christmas and New Year celebrations, even more I've to work through the festive season besides the actual days, I have been mistreating my body with bad eating. I've been feeding myself all these junk food, fast food and frozen food, no wonder my skin rallies for nutrients! I am f*cking upset with these rashes but in a way it is good because my body is reacting to whatever that I'm allergic to, and to me being malnutrition. These are all natural. Who would think a person like me with the size of a baby whale is malnutrition. I chuckled at that term when it came out from Olga's mouth.

So she said I'm corrupted. Because I love dairy - my cheddar and camembert and Danish blue and brie and yoghurt in the morning and mozzarella in every possible dish I cook. I'm asian and dairy is not in our diet traditionally. Apparently, asians never suffered from osteoporosis until they were "corrupted". Hello dairy, hello osteoporosis, and hello bad skin! Yes, there's calcium in milk but our body doesn't absorb much from it, instead more problems are created. She's not the first, nor the second but the forth person who told me to stop taking dairy. Everyone of them including a renowned dermatologist explained to me in their own ways with their own reasons. I totally buy them, I understand and I believe, but my love for the pungency of blue, the spicy-ness of vintage cheddar, the chewiness of mozzarella and softness of double brie is hard to cease. Today, Olga said to me milk is not for human, they are for cows! Very well said. The dermatologist told me milk is from pregnant cows that are raging with hormones. HORMONES. Okay, so I've to start all over again with my extremely-low-dairy diet. I'm allowed to have a treat now and then, sigh... so depressing (again!).

Fingers crossed I'll look better soon, as in tomorrow morning because it's 36 degrees tomorrow, it will be wonderful if I'm granted the option of wearing a strappy summer dress to work and meet some friends for drinks afterwards. Otherwise, I'll be cursing all the way till I'm fully recovered! 41 degrees Monday, hope that will change over the weekend. It's not good when it's too hot, dangerous. I solemnly pray for no bushfire, more rain to come, and smooth skin tomorrow morning, please...

there's a tear

It was a long hiatus. Blame it on Twitter, or I'm just solely lazy. I've read on a friend's blog before (I don't remember who) all his entries are depressing, because he/she only writes when he's unhappy. I kind of understand what he meant. Because sometimes when you're feeling blue, you do not know how to make yourself feel better besides writing. For one, I'm not good at sharing misery in real life.

Yes, I'm feeling very much under the weather but I'll get over it.

So it's a new year, actually, a new decade. It's a new beginning and I could almost feel it in my skin that all good things are about to happen. I'm all hyped up for the new year, looking forward to better career opportunities, new adventures, better lifestyle, tip-top health condition, and all things positive. I do, I really do. And I know it's gonna happen but sometimes, just these very small fraction of times that would make me lie in bed and cry. This part of me who is so bad with letting go and getting over grief. And then I ask myself - f*ck, am I depressed? I think I'm just damaged and this piece of damaged goods likes the pain; because pain makes her feel that He's near her, everything is fresh and new and He hasn't gone too far for too long.

Enough said, I'm screwed because as everyone is moving on with life and embracing the happier moments, this very small part of me is stuck in the past. Ironically, I've no issue sharing with you here, neither do I have issue admitting it but I just do not want to talk about it to anyone.

It does feel good letting my fingers do the work. I'm feeling better now, tears are dry, nose is cleared. Have I also told you that I really appreciate those of you who read this space, who knows when I'm depressed, who leaves me message but never ever bring it up in person when I see you? Thank you. We shall keep it that way, xoxo