Our bundle has arrived. Everyone at home is overjoyed. I'm so excited to be aunty one more time. At the same time, I'm feeling a little left out, because I'm not able to be home with them. It is no doubt my choice to live abroad, I know. Yet at occasions as such, I just wish I'm home.
Am I missing out? Am I? I love my life here, and I'm not just talking about having fun with mates, wining and dining and all. I mean, living a life where I work for what I get to enjoy. Having to ponder over what to have for dinner instead of going home to dinner already prepared. Having to make myself clean and wash although my body is crying for rest. I feel real. I like feeling under pressure to do better and faster. I like to know that I need to make more in order for me to spend even more. I'm gratified to see that I could actually do it, although I really should be at a better position now, making more moolah to go on more holidays and buy more diamonds, handbags, shoes and essentially, a place called home!
Anyway, it was one of those days where you've mixed emotion. Happy was an understatement. Ecstatic + excited + homesick. That's what it is.
All at the same time, I'm feeling scared. I'm scared that my family will slowly forget about me. I'm worried that they'll love me less and less as time goes by. I panicked when the thought of my Rice Angel will grow up to not including me in her life. I don't want to be an outsider, because I am part of them, I am in it and I want to be in it.
I miss home. I wanna go home, just for a bit though, because I am not done with Melbourne. As selfish as I can be, I do want the best of both world.