Got to Health Land in desperation for my daily massage fix after half a day of heartless shopping. All I could think of since I got up was to get a massage. We couldn't get any room without prior reservation and after much negotiation with the fat and rude customer service woman, the three of us, Eleana, Veron and myself had decided to go to another massage place.
It was at least mid thirty degree and we were carrying our shopping bags. So I suggested for us to get in a cab and ask him to take us to the nearest massage parlour around. We then got a cab, jumped in and I told him to take us to any Thai massage place around here. He said ya-ya. I then emphasized on not going to Health Land as it's full and he said ya-ya.
That idiot took a big round and took us back to Health Land, like how we didn't want to. We didn't get down and told him that we want to go somewhere else for Thai massage (note: the repeating of "Thai massage" was uncountable). He again gave me a ya-ya and started driving to somewhere we didn't know. After a good ten minutes, we realized he wasn't taking us to any massage parlour AROUND HERE. I opened my mouth...
"Are we there yet?"
After a few minutes...
"Is the place very far?"
"Isn't there any place near where we were?"
F*ck! He doesn't understand English, not even when I tried my very best to use the simplest words in my vocabulary and tried to speak with that weird slang like most Thais have. Fine.
After another like ten minutes, we finally arrived at this secluded area with a massage parlour sign at this tall building. But he drove straight past that building and about a minute later, we were drove in to this old wooden looking "house", it looked really dodgy. I paid and got off the stupid cab while Eleana and Veron were really afraid of going in. I was so angry at the cab driver for wasting my time and was so desperate for a massage, I didn't have the energy to think thoroughly. I just thought I would get a massage, regardless of what.
I pushed open the door and stomped in we did. All head turned. It was a brothel with at least twenty to thirty Thai girls in fluorescent coloured bikinis sitting in the huge "fish tank". We were stunned for a second or two before this small man with a big sleazy smile came to welcomed us and asked us what did we want. There were a few caucasian men in there choosing their girls from the "tank". While I wasn't thinking straight, I thought it would be okay for us to get a massage and go, afterall there were three of us, we should be okay. The girls were making some noise and said that they didn't want it and they were really afraid. I was a little scared as well but I thought after all these hassle and effort, we should at least get what we wanted.
Eleana then reminded me of how dirty this place is and the filthy bedsheets. Her words were like an alarm to my massage-desperate mind and sent a shiver down my spine. I then told that sleazy man that we're not gonna get a massage and we then made a dash to the door. Jeez, dodgy was it. Eleana then told me what if they secretly takes video of us while we are changing? We're gonna see our own naked pictures on one of those forwarded mails. Yes, she was right, she's so fast and cautious *clap hands* I should learn from her and not to be so impulsive.
The sleazy man was chasing after us to lure us into getting in and at that time I was really in fear. We quickly ran out of the place and got in to the same cab that we've gotten here. Well, that's the only cab in sight and have I mentioned that the place was secluded? This time I took out my hotel's business card with Thai on it and showed it to him, indicating that I want to get back to my hotel. He, of course, gave me another set of "ya-ya". To make sure that he understood me, I showed him the back of that card which has a map on it to make sure that he knew where it was. Again he said "ya-ya".
I wasn't sure if he didn't understand me or he did it on purpose, he didn't send us back to our hotel. Alas, he drove in to this scary little road, which wasn't even a road as it was all rocks and stones on the driveway and stopped us in front of this even smuttier and smaller looking wooden house with massage pictures on it. F*cking hell, I would've killed that bastard if it is at all legal. I couldn't yell at him either fearing that he might drove us to another place and kidnap us. I then raised my voice and told him that I wanted to get back to my hotel and not here!
Clearly, we had finally returned to our hotel safely, without losing anything but time. Phew... what an experience it was. We then regretted for not staying there for a little longer to take a good look at the girls. We were panicking and couldn't think. Veron had observed that there were water on the backdrop of that "tank" and I remembered the girls were all in bikinis and they were all in fluorescent colours. So this was our surprise visit to something that I've long heard about but not seen except for in movies. Quite a good experience as long as we're safe at the end of the day.
All in all, Bangkok is a great city to visit. People are really nice and hardworking. Really appreciate their politeness and helpfulness in many sense (I choose to believe that the bastard cab driver was trying to be helpful but the language was the problem). Met this Danish guy at the Sky Bar and he told me that he's been living in Bangkok for four years and he's loving it. Well, I don't think I can live in Bangkok but return visits are definite. Traffic jams are terrible and the air is badly polluted but streets are generally very clean. There's no limit to the numbers of passenger in a cab as long as you can fit yourself in, coolness.
Again, I'm missing the food, and the cheap cheap cheap massages.