Has anyone felt ill at ease when others are being overtly nice to you, even with no ulterior motives? At times, I do. If they are from my friends, I'll always want more (I'm the demanding bitch who enjoys being showered with lotsa love), however, no thank you to the others. Namely, my building's night-shift security guard.
He's a fatherly middle-aged man with a perpetual smile everytime you see him. He's been taking care of me for the past two years while I'm living in this building, like helping me fix my intercom, looking after my car when I'm not around, letting me in to the carpark or to my floor when I forgot my keys (alcohol killed all my memory cells). Small little things like that.
At most times, we'll have casual conversations whenever I bump in to him. He never fails to give me compliments whenever I see him, whether it's my nails or dress, and of course, ME! All these happened so oftenly, as my activities of going out and coming home happens usually when the sun is down and the stars are blinking up high. I started to hate these conversations when it became repetitious - greetings, compliments, where am I going. To be honest, I'm happy for it to begin and stop at the stage of greetings. I don't quite fancy having to tell people where I'm going and what I'm going to do. For some reasons, I felt like my privacy had been invaded. It's like having someone in the building, knowing what time I go out and what time I return (or not at all).
There were times when he saw me and commented that I resemble my mum. I asked him how did he know, and he told me he saw us in the lift via the CCTV while giving me that smirky face. He obviously thinks he was being smart, pffftt! He'll then sometimes ask about my boyfriend and why did we break up. I mean, give me a break. The last thing I want is to come home to a nosy security who constantly throws questions at me. I've one father and he's in Malaysia, I don't need a second one. Even my dad doesn't ask me that many questions, for f*ck's sake.
I know, I know, he was just being nice and concerned but really, I don't need that. Like there are times when friends dropped me off so I've no choice but walk through the main entrance, feeling rather tipsy from whatever that I've been drinking. He would then flagged me down by running out of his office, chasing after me and started talking to me about the same old shit.
Recently, it got even worse, I think he has a girlfriend of some sort (not sure if he's married but I know he has kids of my age), who pays him visits at his office on a regular basis. She's an English teacher to the young overseas students where English isn't their first language (look how much I know when I didn't even ask *palm hits forehead*). They invited me to join them for some wine and nuts which I subtlely declined. That woman, who I can't remember her name now, was a well-spoken sweet looking lady. For god-knows-what reasons, she spoke to me like a little kid and kept calling me little girl. Excuse me, I know the caucasians have problems judging our age but my height itself can already assure you that I'm no where near little!
Another thing I hate is, like many of you had already know, I sometimes "hangout" with my neighbour. The last thing I want is to have someone that comes up to me and ask me how come you guys hangout together? Since when? Come on, leave me alone! It's my personal issues and please grow to learn to respect that.
Tonight, I pulled over just before my carpark entrance as I was on the phone and didn't want to lose the network while I drive in the carpark. He was across the road with his teacher-girlfriend waving to me, I waved back of course, along with a courteous smile. They walked towards my direction and both stared at me with smiles from one ear to another, waiting for me to wind down the window and speak to them. I grabbed my phone, showed it to them, turned my back against them, and kept talking. I suppose they got what I meant and left me alone, thank goodness.
After parking my car, I was thwarted from getting my mails from the mailbox, which is located right across the office where they spent their quality time at. I wasn't going to put myself through those conversation again and I didn't want to be rude. I have an adversion to talk when I'm home. Guess that's pretty obvious or I wouldn't enjoy living alone so much. For me, going home means going back to peace and quiet, it's all about spending time with myself, doing things I like - make a pot of hearty soup or tea, watch some bad TV, blog or blog-stalking, blast my stereo, stick my nose to the evil fashion magazines, do my chores, call my family/friends...
You didn't read having superficial conversation with the building security and his girlfriend, did you?