Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ended, so start again!

Of late, there are two couples, who I've known since my age carried only a single digit, had broken up. The four of them were from the same high school; they were good friends; they fell in love; and now they have broken up. I knew the four of them almost at the same time, they are actually my brother's friends and I've always like the little sister among them. They have literally witnessed me becoming a lady from a child.

I was a little taken aback to have found out that they had broken up, one after another (note: it was downright coincidental). The first couple, Mango and Terry, had been going out for seven years. He's her first boyfriend, not sure it was lucky or unlucky. Terry cheated on her with another girl, for about six months before he confessed to her and ended the relationship. Obviously, Mango was devastated.

I couldn't comprehend - how did he hide everything so well? He has a job. When his friends(who are my friends too) asked him out, he's almost always available. On the weekends, he spent all his time with Mango. Just where did he find time for the other girl? Just who said men are bad at multi-tasking?

The second couple, Mindy and Lawrence, had been seeing each other for, erm... I don't quite know but it was at least four/five years. They had been on a long distance relationship but saw each other fairly often, a couple of times in a month (Singapore & Batam). I would say I was pretty close to Mindy and she's one who we would share information of the heart with, although we only see each other like a few times a year for the last couple of years. She found another better half and broke it up with Lawrence.

Sorry to say but I knew that was coming. From all the conversation I had with Mindy about her relationship, I can tell you I was 100% sure that she was NOT in love with Lawrence, she loved him but not in love. She was comfortable with their then relationship and she saw no reasons to leave. I dare to admit that I was the bitch who couldn't stop hassling her to break it up as it was a waste of time for her. She didn't act, of course. I however, knew that she would when she found someone better.

To be very honest, I don't blame either Terry or Mindy. Call me heartless if you want but I personally think there's no being right or wrong in a relationship; there's only the right or wrong way of ending a relationship. You cannot control feelings but you can control how you deal with your partner. People fall in love. I hate to admit this poignant truth but at most times people fall out love eventually. In anyway, someone is going to get hurt, if not everyone. These things are to be handled very carefully as feelings are extremely delicate. And when it comes to love, we're all fragile.

Me, being a bystander knows nothing more than what I've observed and heard, don't think anyone's at wrong here. Yeah, I was a little disappointed with the two-timers for just a short time before putting myself in their shoes. It takes a lot of courage to own up to your partner and give up a steady relationship. It isn't the same as you getting caught red handed and you've no choice but to get dumped. They made their choices and are willing to admit to the world that they are the heart-breakers. I thought, it is in fact better for them to be honest and end it quick, than to waste more of their partners' time and effort. It is always better to receive the news first hand, than to have others coming back to you with that, am I right?

Another coincidence is that both Terry and Mindy are Taureans. A friend then asked me if we Taureans are all the same - cheater. I can tell you here, no. The truth is, we're drop dead loyal, however, when we fall out of love, there is no turning back. In fact, when we fall in love, we fall crazily in love, we won't be bothered by what others think or have to say. Yet, at many times, we can stay in a relationship with one who we love but isn't in love with, for some strange reasons. Or selfishly saying, we want security, and are unwilling to move on as we're afraid of leaving our comfort zone. Opss... that was me speaking, doesn't represent every bull. Whatever it is, for the two bulls to have made those decisions, they pretty much won't change their mind I reckon.

That's life. Shits happen but life still goes on. We fall in love, we fall out of love. The lucky ones get to be in love for a longer time and for the unfortunate ones, you get to choose. Some find love in another person; some retreat to their cocoon.

If you believe in love, you will keep looking.
I'm a believer.

*all names had been changed


Silly Meow-Emily said...

I can't agree more on the last 3rd & 4th paragraphs!!

Anonymous said...

I am a believer as well... :)

Elizebeth D.L. said...

I agree if there is no more love in relationship, should end it quick and fast.

But I also tend to believe whenever a relationship is over, the fault is at the party who requested to end it. Hehehe... me very subjective~

Unknown said...

Elizebeth, Therefore , I was always a villian, as I tend to know when I fall out of love and quickly fall in love with someone else, I mean, I would rather be the world biggest cheater than to waste his and my time suffering in a no end relationship.

I love being a believer, because love is such a beautiful thing to believe in.. no matter how many time I fall out of love.. hah hah hah

btw, I am not a Bull.. hmmm..

Lucky Lazy Lynn said...

Elizabeth, you're contradicting yourself!!! Make up your mind.

Onlyforfriends, what's your star sign?

Elizebeth D.L. said...

ok, here's the conclusion.
I always support my friend, no matter she/he is right or wrong.

But if both are my friends in the couple, I will choose to stay neutral... aiyah, I will side the weaker party;)

Unknown said...

I am an Aquarius ..

Nways, elizebeth.. how do you judge who is the weak one? the one who cries the most ?

Elizebeth D.L. said...

onlyforfriends -- yes. But, only he/she is my friend. If not, cry until sky falls down also no use. I will only support friends. ;)

Unknown said...


you sot sot one...
Support does not mean to sabo the other party right? Support in terms of courage and care... =)