Tuesday, February 27, 2007

It's Just My Heart

Flames to Dust,
Lovers to Friends,
Why do all good things come to an end?


My plan of no alcohol on the first three days of the week had failed. What a loser! Asked Keat out for a drink after class and she suggested dinner, which was fabulous as I had not eaten the whole day thanks to my over-sleeping. I'm sometimes like a pig, can't be bothered about anything except for sleep. I'm proud to say that I got in to my favourite lecturer's class almost on time. Had just slightly more than a glass over dinner and thought that was the end of the night.

Phone rang and I was too weak to say no. Well, Guoyi was in town and she was such a sweetie while I was in Singapore. It's rude that I not see her. But I was good, didn't have much, just four glasses of whites, that's it. It was good to see the twins again, and to know that Marriott Malaysia is happy with his new leaf of life.


And for myself, obstinate as I've always been, my heart is still in power over my head. My head knows it's over, but my heart knows better than anything that it ain't over till it's over. There's no such word as impossible in my vocabulary (well, I say it at times but I don't actually mean it). Taking a three months break (well, almost five months to be right) was good for me - out of sight, out of mind. But I keep asking myself why. Haven't I already learned this two years ago that... do not ask myself why, because there's no answer to that, and it only kills me slowly by asking myself why. Well, it doesn't kill I would say, but I'm still wondering till now. Was it the age? Was it me? Or was it him? Trust me, I'm fine. I'm not stucked but at times like these, I'd think, why things happened and it didn't lead me to any closure? How can there be an opening with no end, be it a good one or not?

Perhaps, c'est la vie.

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