Uncertainty definitely isn't my cup of tea.
I was once told by a good friend that uncertainties can be very exciting, you aren't quite sure of the answer and you get the thrill from all these guessing games. I'm an old fart who can't be f*cked with all these crap, I loathe guessing and I hate disappointments. I'm a person who needs to know what's going on, what you're thinking and what is going to happen. I would say I'm not much of a planner but when it involves more than myself, I need to know at least what are the options.
I did ask myself if I'll be upset if things don't turn out to be how I want it to be. Maybe a little but I need to prepare myself at least. Honestly, I am even afraid for time to arrive because I am an idi*t when it comes to dealing with my own feelings. It's a coin toss chance for things to fall in perfect place. I have this vision of what's going to happen but at the same time, I don't even dare to think about these plans. I'm afraid I might have been living in solipsism.
Time dashes pass quicker than I'm prepared for. There were times when I wished it goes by quicker and there are now times where I wish I could turn back time. I also wish candy will always be sweet and the answer would be promisingly happy.
Monday, September 03, 2007
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