I am secretly hiding at home while most of the crew in Melbourne thinks I'm freezing my arse off in the snow. I piked. I was a bad friend to have left Milyn with the two boys, sorry. First of all I have to nurse my bad ankle which is supposed to be good by now. Secondly, I've not completely recovered from the flu and most importantly, I've unfinished work in hand. Monday marks the beginning of the new semester and last semesters essays are still in progress, pffftt! Thanks to the massive extensions I've gotten and my ungratefulness of the time I had. Procrastination brings upon the greatest pain unto me when time hits the final line.
So here I am, hermit-izing myself at home on a winter Friday night, in my less-than-sexy PJs and lounge robe, blogging as a way to reward myself to have finished a grand 4500 words today *curtsy* However, whether I've done well enough to deserve a pass or not? I don't know. I've no time to worry about that. I have strayed this semester, strayed from aiming to pass. I've played too much and too crazily but I've learnt my lesson. If I fail, all I can do is stay at home and cry for it will be the first time in my entire 26 years of life. If I pass, I promise I will never make the same mistakes, ever again!
So there's another 2000 words to go, potentially the hardest 2000 words. I am going to finish everything before Sunday morning, by hook or by crook. I am so going to kill myself if I can't get these done after giving up my long-awaited ski trip and losing my money on the accommodation that I don't get to stay, hmmpphh! I am so going to disappoint myself as well as people who care about me.
Speaking of which, Candyman deserves a big big kiss from me *muaks* His encouragement has stirred up my motivation. I would've still be turning myself away from responsibilities if it wasn't for him tapping gently on my shoulder and make me turned around and say "f*cking hell, that's a lot of shit that I've left behind!"
At most times, I don't need you to tell me what I need to do or what I've done wrong. All I need is to meet the right person who brings the best out of me; who makes me a better person. Trust me, it is not easy to find this person and I'm lucky to have one in my current life. Friends or more than that? I don't know. Am I happy? At most times. I am just gonna follow the flow because as paradoxical as it can be, the more I want to let go, the nearer I am to you.