Tuesday, May 26, 2009

old news

As I was having the last of my breakfast on the bench before getting in to work, my mobile rang. It was Kungpo Chicken, the screen said. What a surprise on an early Thursday morning. Look, he's a friend who I've not seen or spoken with for at least four years. Him and I had a short episode before but friendship remained. He met my parents in KL and they got along. In fact, Dad and him could talk for hours. Not unusual, Dad loves long conversation with people.

So we said our hellos over the phone, yadda yadda yadda, and he said he was planning to go KL again and would like to catch up with my Dad.

"My Dad had passed away," I told him calmly.
"He had passed away," I repeated.
"You're kidding me..."
"There's nothing funny about this, He had passed away." At this point, he was doing my head in because I'm starting to believe, for one second, that it was a joke, none of that had happened.
"But he was healthy the last time..." Tell me about it!!!

Anyway, I couldn't speak with him about this over the phone. So I said I've to go and we'll speak again when I see him. So I went to see him for lunch on Saturday. I told him what happened to Dad while he listened in disbelief. As I was filling him with everything, it felt as if it was all happening to me again. The pain, the shock, the unwillingness to let go... they all just came back to me. I had to hold back my tears in order to save myself from embarrassment and smudged mascara.

It's bizarre how something that happened almost eighteen-months ago seem so fresh in your mind again. I thought I would've been very numbed by now but I guess even the best anaesthetic in the world can't do its wonder this time. I'm trained to be better at holding back my tears though. I took a deep breathe and changed the topic right away.

What's new with him? He's married, as I already knew from Big Bro. Also, his company is listed in America now, how wonderful? I've to say this dude is truly intelligent, capable and know what he's doing. I'm happy for him. Most importantly, what I saw in front of me across the dining table was the same old Kungpo Chicken that I knew five years ago. The boy who is trapped in a man's body, the one who loves teasing me, and the one who's blatantly honest about himself.

He flew off on the same night to Shanghai, then New York, then Hong Kong, etc. and I'm left with that feeling for Dad. Today, I was just sitting here, looking back on the most unbelievable week in December 07. Instead of letting myself falling into this depression (I hate using this word when I mean it), I chose to write. Okay, I'm feeling a little better now. Thanks for letting me share.

1 comment:

Diana said...

*hugz* gimme a call when you need a shoulder to cry on! But I know you won't coz you never like to cry in front of your friends=)Take care!