My back is fine. They said it was just bruise and soreness so I shouldn't be too worried. Good to know that this is not gonna stop me from wearing sky-high heels or doing my back and forward bends in yoga class.
My pain has actually gotten worse today. It hurt when I was sleeping and it was hard for me to get out of bed. I had difficulties breathing last night when I lied horizontally. Walking and standing up was actually the most comfortable position, weird! Anyway, as I was in pain this morning, I was asking myself if it'll be nice if there's someone at home making lunch for me and then clean up my place. No. In fact, I wish I won't have to see anyone and people won't think that I'm a wussy cause I can't take pain.
I'm sort of used to being by myself. Months ago I probably will be a cry baby sulking at home hoping that angels will send someone to baby me. Months ago I'll be too scared to do the jumps in the snow worrying that I might break an arm or a leg. Months ago if I fall off the horse I probably will be in tears and feeling too traumatized to get back on.
Today, I don't wish for anyone to baby me - I cook my own congee, clean my own dishes and swear at the pain by myself. Today, I'll jump as long as the ground isn't icy and hard and if I fall, I know I'll do better next time. And just on Saturday, I fell off the horse and I got back up straight away, I tried to tame that creature but to very little avail, I fell again and I got back up on another tamer horse this time. Not a single drop of tear but lotsa angst instead. I surprised myself.
Sometimes change can come really quickly without warning. Some weeks ago I was just crying because I fell in a club when I was drunk, didn't I? All those behaviour from the past just seem so stupid after you've improved. The process could be slow but doesn't mean there's no progression.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
johnson & johnson's baby shampoo - no more tears!
Lotsa Love | Lucky Lazy Lynn at 8:57 pm
Labels | I Mean It
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