Sunday, June 08, 2008


A year ago this day, I returned from Hawaii with a whole new suitcase of shopping. I was a happy girl with no worries except for excess baggage and what to wear for dinner. The following night I got dropped off at the city to meet up with friends for Armin White Party, I partied like there was no worries, like it was my birthday, like it was the Queen's birthday.

Six months ago the same day, He opened his eyes for the very last time. It was off focus but I knew He saw me, and He knew I was there. He stopped breathing and everyone had to leave the room. I refused to budge, the nurse asked me to leave. The following five days were like a long dream featuring people that you'll only see at occasions as such, or perhaps, weddings.

Today, I rang mum on her mobile but like it happened all the time, no one picked up. I wanted more sleep but I couldn't. I wanna work more but I can't focus. I'm looking forward to Armin Only in six hours' time but am not sure if I'm ready. They said time heals, and I say time takes away our denials too. Denial - acceptance - healing, is that how it works?

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